I’ll warn you, this isn’t going to be a very serious post. Or maybe it will be; you never can tell–sometimes they turn on me mid-paragraph. In any case, this is how it starts: if we add a “g” to “ego,” we get “eggo,” or rather, “Eggo,” as that happens to be a brand name. I vote for taking action: adding the “g.” And why not? Adding a “g” costs exactly nothing, and drains “ego” of all that pretentious seriousness it trudges around with and transfusions it (yeah I said that) with syrup and sunshine. “Ego” is all wrapped up in heavy accents, spectacles, goatees, smoking jackets, reclining tell-me-about-your-childhood couches, Latin, Greek and Freud. Blech. Please. Ego, gettovah yourself.
“Eggo,” on the other hand, is nothing but a frozen fluffed-up yellow round thing. Harmless. Weightless. And somehow–friendly! Like a sunny day! Happy! Waffles! They’re just waffles, people, waffles! Buttermilk, Apple-Cinnamon, Homestyle, Blueberry, Chocolate Chip?! There’s absolutely nothing heavy or threatening or I’m-taking-over-your-life-and-stealing-your-joy about an Eggo. Ego, take note.
Here’s what an Eggo waffle is made of: Enriched flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, vitamin B1 [thiamin mononitrate], vitamin B2 [riboflavin], folic acid), water, vegetable oil (soybean, palm, and/or canola oil), eggs, leavening (baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate), contains 2% or less of sugar, salt, whey, soy lecithin, yellow 5, yellow 6.
Except for the cancer-causing dyes, doesn’t all that stuff sound harmless and fun? It isn’t, but let’s just point out that it’s nothing, absolutely nothing compared to the ingredients of “ego,” which follow:
1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.3. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.4. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.