I’m not gonna lie: on some level, I looked forward to the debate last night with a special sort of villainous glee. Was this the moment he would crumble and, bawling like an infant, dash off stage? Go completely nuts? Finally hit someone in the face? Part of me watched with a delicious, dark excitement. But another part of me, my heart, was saddened; none of this felt good and I kind of wanted to throw up.


Because I know that in my worst moments, when I’m believing my darkest thoughts, I am Donald Trump.


Maybe that sounded weird. Stick with me here for a sec:


  • Although I don’t overtly denigrate women, every time put myself down or believe that my worth is in any way tied to my looks (and I do that sometimes), I am Donald Trump.
  • Although I don’t want to ban Muslims or anyone else, every time I point a finger at someone else and believe my “problems” have something to do with them (and I do that sometimes), I’m Donald Trump.
  • Although I’m not a multi-zillionaire, every time I believe that without money in the bank I’m not respectable, acceptable or free (and I do that sometimes), I’m Donald Trump.
  • Although I haven’t threatened to hit anyone in the face, every time I choose from anger, from fear, from lack (and I do that sometimes), I’m Donald Trump.


When we forget that we all have the capacity for everything we despise in others, even if it’s in the form of the subtlest passing thought wrapped in the most believable disguise, we disconnect from the truth. If we’re real about it, we ALL know what it’s like to feel disconnection, to want to wall up our hearts and protect ourselves, to lash out in anger, in fear.

This is the truth in the fiction.

The fiction is that we are separate entities, that I am just this body, that I am not inherently Love, that you can hurt me. The truth in that fiction is that we DO forget who we are, we often believe the thoughts, that sometimes, we believe our own lies.

On a daily basis, subtle thoughts flash through my mind that I’m not enough this or that, that I’m unlovable, that I have to protect myself and erect walls. The thing is, I know the truth, and I don’t believe those thoughts (or any thoughts), at least for very long. Ego serves to keep us physically alive, but we overgeneralize its function, and Donald Trump often embodies that overgeneralization. His platform depends upon others’ absolute belief in their own fears and limitations.

The truth is that if I’m honest and disengage from the ego games, it’s not so hard to see myself in him. When I see myself, I can work with that. But the block to seeing myself is this: We love to maintain certain ideas about who we think we are, and if we allow ourselves to see ourselves in others, to see our own reflections, we then have to either reject or allow compassion for what we see. We can either harden or soften; accept the truth or resist it. If we accept the truth and allow compassion for ourselves, then we automatically begin to experience compassion for others. And when we feel compassion for others, we can no longer use them as a foil for our own self-fictions. Rejecting you is easier, but it is also rejecting myself, and this causes me pain. That pain can either wake me up, or I can go deeper into denial. To come from a place of understanding and respect is usually not the ego’s first choice—it takes the competition, the one-upmanship and the us-against-themness out of it: all of ego’s favorite self-image-maintenance tricks.

The truth is that where there is compassion, real change is possible. Even if you hate me, have zero respect for me and throw me out the door, if I hold the knowing that I am capable of everything I resist in you and thus have compassion for you (and for myself), then I’m capable of seeing the truth, which is that any fear, anger or hate coming from you is simply a misunderstanding and that we are both only Love. When I see that the fiction is that you believe your thoughts, I can also see that tendency in myself, and I can sit down at a table with you, open-hearted, and talk—and that takes a lot more courage than yelling at you or complaining or gossiping to someone else. You may accept or reject yourself and thus me, but rather than coming back at you with more fear, hate, anger and shutting off my heart, I can instead soften, ACCESS my heart and move through any misperception into compassion and into love-inspired action. Heart-accessed, love-inspired action is what brings ourselves, each other and thus the world into higher conscious awareness and creates transformation on every level. Without heart-inspired action there are no bird-rescues, no Michael Jacksons and no Martin Luther Kings. Yikes.


Go deep. What did you REALLY want to see last night? Was it a brawl? A breakdown? A circus? Even “going high”, coming from a place of superiority, feels bad, doesn’t it? But “going high”, coming from a place of acceptance of ourselves, from compassion, is simply the holding out of a hand, a nod of understanding; the gift of me not believing even the lies you believe about yourself, and the reminder of who we both really are.


My favorite moment in the debate last night by a million miles was Donald’s final comment, his praise of Hillary’s character. Out of the blue, a strike of lightening, a moment of compassion, of truth, and, intended or not, a moment of Love and transformation. Are we surprised by this? Shocked or confused or even angry that Donald Trump uttered those words?? That he stepped away, if just for a moment, from playing the part we’d cast him in? Whether his comments were strategically-minded or not, they were the best reminder: Even at our worst, in an instant, we can remember, we can be reminded of who we really are, and come back to Love. To gratitude. To compassion. To the knowing that there are no villains and that the “bad guy” is simply the part of us we don’t want to accept. If that can come through this Donald Trump, who’s so embroiled in the fiction of fear that it’s his political platform, then it can certainly come from you and me. LiveLove&BU. Also, here’s a compassionate action: Vote!


Image credit studiojoslizen.wordpress.com 

Photographer: Alexbakerphotography.com


About the author
  1. jake ducey

    you rock <3

    • Christy Harden

      Hi Jake!! YOU rock back!!!!!!! <3

  2. Jamie Dodge

    Really enjoyed this!!

    See Love, Be Love, Jamie

    • Christy Harden

      Much appreciated 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to respond, Jamie!!

  3. Pamela

    Bravo, Christy! Fantastically written piece. As a student of A Course in Miracles, I believe that our sole purpose is to release any scraps of hatred and judgments in our own mind. Nothing is “out there” to fix–it’s an inside job. Thanks for this courageous and spot-on article. 💝

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks for your kind comment, Pamela! Thanks for reading!

  4. Lori C

    Witnessing my own reactions to Trump, I had to self reflect. What was he triggering in me. Why was I getting worked up? My fear, my racism, my judgement. I posted a status on facebook ….
    How did it get to this point where that man is even being considered. He has been good for bringing the darkness to the light and now … what will we do with that information.
    Just … this whole American election thing … I sat and closed my eyes … breathe deep … can we all soften just a little … look at the person beside you .. not so different … we can be okay together … make stuff happen … be less afraid … a little hope

    So thank you so much Christy, for shining a light on the darkness we all have inside. Light and love and self compassion … and hope.

    • Christy Harden

      Beautiful reflections! Thanks so much for writing 🙂

  5. Brilliant article, but, I fear the ones who most need to read this wouldn’t understand. ” His platform depends upon others’ absolute belief in their own fears and limitations.” I’m thankful for my understanding of the 3D play in progress which seems to be paused in the opening credits. Sally forth fellow lightworkers, I love you.

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks so much for your thoughts!!

  6. This is exactly what I’ve been sharing on my platforms as a spiritual mentor and writer. Thank you for this because it’s beautifully written!!

    • Christy Harden


  7. So profound! I don’t know how I ended up with this link, and, simultaneously, I know exactly why I clicked this link. Great writing.

    • Christy Harden

      So honored by your comment. Thank you! Peace 🙂

  8. Lawrence Williams

    That moment when you’re reading and the words resonate so well within that you experience goose-bumps. Thank you for this, Christy! Excellent!

    • Christy Harden

      Thank YOU for reading! Peace 🙂

  9. Thank you for writing this. I’ve been hoping that I’d see more conscious reflection during this time. This is awesome.

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks so much John!

  10. Connor

    This is fantastic! Empathy and compassion can solve so many problems, and cure so much hate; from a personal level to a national and global level. This belief has been on my mind lately, and I absolutely loved reading your perspective on it. Thank you for posting this, and keep spreading the message of love!

    • Christy Harden

      Connor I so appreciate you taking the time to write–I love the encouragement, thanks so much!

  11. Stewart

    I didn’t appreciate the subject matter. Find compassion for the kids in Syria. I’m sure it will be just as enlightening.

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks so much for reading! Compassion applies to everyone–no one is excluded.

    • Christy Harden

      Much appreciate you reading my post!

  12. Wendy

    I woke up this morning wanting to write these exact words….and then somehow this came across my Facebook feed. Now I don’t have to. Thank you. It is comforting knowing others have these same internal conversations. The mirror is our greatest teacher and freedom.

    • Christy Harden


  13. Love !!!!!

  14. This reminds me of a passage from Robert Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love.” It goes something like, “Remember that your enemy is not a villain in his own eyes. It makes it easier to make an honorable peace, or if necessary, kill him without hate.”

    What a superb piece about a modern day villain. Thank you, Christy.

    • Christy Harden

      Ooh I love that quote! Thanks Larry 🙂 I appreciate your kind words.

  15. Thank you for writing this. So true and so easy to forget. Thank you for reminding me. 🙏🏻

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks Kristen!!! Appreciate the comment so much 🙂

  16. Jimmy Wilson

    Love the way you write. Wakes me up. Thank you.

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks so much! I so appreciating you taking the time time write 🙂

  17. Dermot

    I don’t think a lot of your readers who continue to critisize the other “side” get it at all. This is a reflection of American society like Brexit was in UK and all over the world. Better face up to it than be in denial.

  18. I am so happy I came across this, Christy. Do you think that he really is basing everything on fear or that he started a dialog that allows the things that people were not comfortable with expressing to come up… which would make sense with all the things we’ve been through as a nation? Either way, your message still resonates. xo

  19. Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the excellent work!

    • Christy Harden

      Thanks Charles!

  20. Nice post. I study something more challenging on completely different blogs everyday. It’ll all the time be stimulating to learn content material from other writers and follow a little bit one thing from their store. I’d prefer to make use of some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a hyperlink on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.

    • Christy Harden

      That’s great as long as you credit me thx!

  21. Tamar

    Mixed motives for watching and, yes, the debates are mirrors. Why did I watch the THIRD one, though, knowing the likelihood it would be a replay? Am I addictively returning to the crime scene hoping that this time I will get it, this time I will find the key to responding to verbal abuse, the key to overturning my history and my mother’s and who knows how many millions more? Maybe Hillary has it, and I can look at her and see myself in that mirror? Or Michele? In that mirror I can see how my own fears and wounds keep me from opening to others….. But also how they keep me from saying firmly “No!” to both those who are continuing to do damage and to the part of me that wants to.

  22. Christy, one night I dreamed I gave Donald Trump – who was wearing a red suit – a warm and loving hug. I woke up knowing this meant something about ME and not Mr. Trump. Turning this around and around in my thoughts, I began to understand that the dream was a basically a reflection of me giving ME that love and acceptance – because I was seeing that in what triggered me through Donald Trump, was my own fearful, angry, aggressive self that I spend plenty of time denying. I’ve been wanting to write about that for quite some time. Only to find that you’d done it for me. Thank you so much.

    • Christy Harden

      That’s so awesome!! Thanks for sharing that!

  23. Alex

    Wonderful article. Your writing is refreshing.

    • Christy Harden

      Thank you so much! I appreciate you writing!

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