Lately I’ve been in the Flow, doing what I love with people I love, and I notice I’m inhabiting what I can only describe as an “alternate universe” (or it’s inhabiting me). Often blissed out and in a nearly constant state of gratitude, I’ve never in my life experienced such magic, and for such an extended period of time. And then all of a sudden the other day, it occurred to me that this is what life is MEANT to feel like! Sure, we all have ups and downs, and even in this state of intense Flow, I’ve had some of those. But what’s different is that I’ve tapped into something much bigger than myself, and I’ve got this wonderful, full sense of Purpose flowing through me. I’ve been here before, for moments or in specific situations, but I let fear hold me back and interrupt the flow, and soon hurried back to the “safety” that I now see less like a safe zone and more like a prison cell. I considered that my “real” life. How sad. Why would I have chosen THAT over this inspired, blissy existence? Because it felt familiar and that’s where most people live–I had lots of company there. Well, what I’m discovering is that there are lots of people in this NEW place too! Violà! While I’ve still got a life-vest I’ll eventually shed, and some rocks in my pockets to unload, I’ve pushed off from shore and I’m swimming now. And loving it.
One of the ideas that really clicked for me a couple of weeks ago at that workshop I talked about in my last post, with Christine Arylo, Amy Ahlers and Amir Zoghi? Intuition. Following it. So I’ve been experimenting with that. And the results? Incredible. Amazing. Shocking. Still Blowing Me Away. For instance, brainstorming for a Top Secret Project, I thought, “wow, it would be really cool to do a video to get at the heart of what I’m doing so people could connect with the project’s purpose and see how it could be a really cool thing in their lives.” I brainstormed more, came up with some concepts and in the span of less than a week, the video has been shot. Wha?!??!! Now, let me just summarize and say that about 50,000 steps went into this occurring, including writing the script, coordinating actor schedules, choosing the shots, meeting with several key people etc etc. However, each step simply presented itself and I calmly (if calmly also involves jumping up and down and happy-screaming periodically) moved ahead with it. It was seamless. I’ve never felt more inspired, and everything fell into place.
I’m telling you, this is magic stuff, people. I’m not talking about the video (yes, the video is gonna be great), I’m talking about the confluence of energy that surrounded this project. Almost everyone I contacted was immediately on-board and extremely generous with their time and talents. Everyone and everything the project needed appeared when it was needed, right down to the wardrobe choices. A little example: after deciding that my co-host, my marvelous friend Adam, and I would wear black shirts for the video, Adam arrived at lunch prior to our shoot sans shirt; he’d left it somewhere. As we were discussing directions to get to the mall for him to pick up a new one, and feeling sad he’d be missing our lunch, I suddenly I noticed the shirt he was wearing, which, though completely different than what I’d envisioned for the shoot, was absolutely perfect; it could not have been better had a planned it! And that’s just one small example.
What’s going on in my head about all this? Mass Gratitude. I’m grateful to everyone who generously contributed time and energy to this project, and continues to, but I’m also grateful for something else–a gift that blew me away. I’ll describe: I’m happy to be able to describe myself as something of a visionary. I don’t always know, when an idea comes to me, how I’ll bring it to life, but I’ve learned to go with it and see where it takes me. Which often feels, maybe surprisingly, like a huge risk. It’s a risk because people sometimes tell me I’m crazy, and of course there’s the chance of it not working out and me looking like a failure, and of losing lots of time and sometimes, money. So previously, I’ve kept things pretty low key and felt the need to come up with all kinds of reasons to do the project that would “make sense” to other people. To minimize the risk, I tended to do projects by myself. But something’s clicked for me over the past couple of years, and being thought of as “crazy” or looking like a failure truly no longer seem relevant–and what better to spend my time and money on that things that are highly meaningful and resonate deeply with me? What’s important is following my intuition, doing what I love, connecting with like-minded people, sharing my vision and letting go of the result. Hence, my projects have gotten bigger, and I’ve allowed others in.
This video project, however, was leaps and bounds beyond. And here is my unexpected gift: I found that people I respect truly believed in me! This is something I never would have realized had I continued to leap around by myself in my own little world of inspiration and not asked for help or let anyone else in (which I was doing, by the way, out of fear). I’m not going to go into detail here about who did what; everyone was incredible and gave so much, and I think they all know how much I appreciate them. I can’t express enough gratitude to all of these people, for their skills and time, and even more so, for their belief in me. THAT flipping knocked my socks off.
Now moving forward with even more energy for the rest of the project, along with a renewed sense of gratitude and awe, I’m learning SO MUCH about trusting myself, trusting others, leaving behind negativity and smallness, and being in the Flow. So it’s official, the “Just Moved” postcards will be arriving shortly: I’m living here now–Flow is my permanent address and there’s no going back, no matter what. Hello, Life!